Respect and the Twelve Steps

Sermon: (Genesis 24, Romans 7, Matthew 11)
St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church 7-3-11

I am going to break the rules of good sermon writing today. A good sermon is supposed to be organized around a central theme and beat away at that theme. Well that’s not the case today. So many thoughts came to mind from the readings that I couldn’t fix on any one of them. So the title of this sermon is Various and Sundry Thoughts on Various Sunday Readings.

There’s a movie I saw several years ago and don’t ask me it’s name. In it an experienced older man is mentoring a teenage boy who is just beginning his dating career. He is very popular with the girls. It has something to do with his fancy car. He is trying to figure out which girls are the good ones that might make a future wife and which ones are shallow and self-centered and probably will stay that way. His mentor says “always be respectful of any young lady you ask out. Open the car door for her. All of them will expect that of you. Get her seated, walk around to your own door and see if she reaches across and unlatches it for you. The rare one who does that is a keeper. Don’t ever stop being respectful of her.”

So, in today’s reading from Genesis we see a scene like that. Abraham sends his servant back to his kinsfolk to find a wife for his beloved son Isaac and this after Isaac’s mother has died. The servant is instructed to ask young women at the well for a drink. The one who not only gives him the drink, but goes the extra step of also watering his camel is the one. That one was Rebekah who agreed to marry Isaac sight unseen and became the mother of Jacob known to us as Israel. All are ancestors of Jesus. The message: both men and women, young and old, think about going that extra step out of respect.

The next message from Romans is of a different sort. Think about some habit of yours that you have labeled bad, maybe it’s eating food that is not in your diet, or an addiction like smoking or a behavior of yours towards others that you find distasteful. None of these things you have been able to change. Paul in this famous passage describes the condition eloquently. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do the good I want. But I do the evil that I hate. He is describing an inner battle, a struggle of mind over body, if you will. My willpower will dominate. No, it will not. We always lose that battle. Paul, in desperation asks Wretched man that I am. Who will rescue me from this body of death? And his answer. Thanks be to God…through Jesus Christ Our Lord.

Well, sure Jesus is the answer, but how does He do it? How do I do it with Him? The best approach that I have experienced is in the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous and all the other programs dealing with intractable behaviors, that stem from it, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous, to name a few.

Let me over simplify those 12 steps like crazy. First we admit defeat; will power doesn’t work. Then we turn it over to the God of our understanding and ask His help to do the things we need to do so that we longer engage in the behavior. Those things are 1) working a positive spiritual program of our own and 2) making those changes in our lives that get us away from the temptations or triggers for our cravings or urges. For example, depending on your issue,don’t take the first drink, don’t light up the first cigarette, don’t take the first brownie or any dessert for that matter, don’t go to the casino or buy a single lottery ticket. Equally important, don’t hang around with those who do. If you are trying to keep a positive attitude and avoid mean behavior toward others, don’t hang around with those who are always complaining or blaming. Never are we ever going to make the changes needed if we see it as a battle that we have to win with superior will power.

As many undoubtedly know, the Twelve Steps have been appearing on the south side of our sign for several months, usually in pieces and snippets, because the sign isn’t big enough to fit a whole step. We are just now finishing the 11th step.

Is this an easy process? Only if it is spiritual. By that I mean only if we can give up the fight and let Him do it. We can take comfort from the Matthew reading. Come to me all you who are weary or are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble of heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.

Yoke refers that that wooden piece that ties two oxen together to which the weight they are pulling is attached. It can be very heavy. Jesus is saying “Let me take your yoke, your burden, your addiction, your harmful habit. I will deal with it. In exchange you take up my yoke, learn from me, follow my teachings. Your burden will be light. You are not pulling it alone.